


Sweet as... Ketchup?

by ImmortalCoelacanth



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, M/M, and gordon is amused, but benrey tries his best, human words are confusing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27221002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalCoelacanth/pseuds/ImmortalCoelacanth
Summary: Benrey isn’t the best at compliments, especially when they involve food, but he always tries his best and Gordon definitely appreciates it.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 116





	Sweet as... Ketchup?

**Author's Note:**

> I crave Benrey struggling and failing to fit in to the normalized standard of "being human" in humorous ways.

Some could say that flirting is an art form. A collection of words or a decisive phrase created to induce positive feelings in someone. The outcome could involve flustering the person the flirting was intended for, or bolstering their confidence in a time of strife and sorrow. Flirting was something that was learned and practiced over time, a skill that developed. 

As such, when Benrey first learned about flirting and the responses he got from Gordon, he wanted to do it more. To see Gordon so flustered and blushing, yet happy at the same time, it made him happy. 

He wanted to see Gordon be happy, so he learned. 

Google was a powerful ally during this time, Benrey looking up words and phrases that he could use to further fluster his partner and get more amusing reactions out of him. One of the most common results that he got from his searches were the strange uses of comparing people to food when complimenting them. 

Calling someone as  _ sweet as sugar _ was but one, common example he found among the tsunami of compliments. It was  _ mind boggling _ , and weirdly kinky.    
  


Why,  _ why _ would you ever flirt with someone by relating them to food?! Benrey knew that humans were weird, and could be  _ very _ dirty at times, but this was a whole new level of weird to him. 

_ But _ , he wanted to make Gordon happy, so he decided to participate in this weird human activity. Of course, just taking any old compliment from the internet was not good enough, he needed something with that  _ Benrey charm _ , so he had to put his own spin on it. 

Flirting by comparing Gordon to food, it sounded easy enough.

Of course, properly executing his flirting attempts-

“hey, hey feetman. you’re the salmon of my eyeballs.” 

“...  _ What?” _

Was much easier said than done. 

You see, while Benrey understood words and knew how to use them, he was not the most knowledgeable in the social contexts of those words. Comprehending social contexts and situations was something he struggled the most with while trying to fit in with human society. 

… Not that he tried all that hard in the first place. It was mainly for Gordon’s sake, but this also meant that when he was confronted with something he found extremely confusing, such as  _ sweet _ referring to someone being nice rather than a flavour they had, he decided it was not worth the effort. 

Mainly due to the fact that he had more important things to memorize, like what Gordon’s favourite songs were so he could hum them at night, or how to cook pancakes for Joshua. His brain could only process so much information before he was reduced to a disassociating lump on the sofa, so Benrey had learned to prioritize. 

The humans he lived with were important, and the weird flirting was not. 

Even if he continued to use it. 

“gaydon, you’re a pineapple.” Benrey smoothly said as he leaned against the doorframe and watched Gordon brew his first coffee of the day. Upon hearing the “flirt”, Gordon snorted in amusement and looked over at his partner. 

“A pineapple? Where’d that one come from?”

“uhhh... dunno.” Benrey awkwardly shrugged. “it’s like-like how you’re my fish from the sea, cause… uh, you taste like salt?”

A bark of laughter escaped the other man as he hid his face in his hands. “Benrey, no, that’s not how  _ any _ of that works-”

“you scared to be my salty fish? huh?”

“No! You just-”

“you hate pescetarians or somethin’? that it? feetman scared of some little fishy wishy?” 

“How do you know what a pescetarian is?!”

“google, duh.” Benrey smirked while wagging his eyebrows. “and you’re plumpy peach-”

It was at that point that the physicist broke down completely, laughing loudly despite his attempts to stop himself. He snorted, and giggled, and wheezed all while his partner watched on, pleased with the response he had gotten. 

A happy Gordon was just as good, if not better, than a flustered Gordon, after all. 

“You’re… a disaster.” He said once he got his laughter under control, the smile on his face making it clear that he was not insulting Benrey. 

“nah, i’m your disaster.” Benrey corrected as he pushed himself off the doorframe, strode over to the other man, and gave him a quick kiss. The duo were now blushing with the occasional bit of pink sweet voice wafting up from between them. 

“Yeah, you are.”

“... the mike to your ike-”

_ “No.” _

**Author's Note:**

> Short but sweet, like ketchup! I have a mighty need to get back into writing wholesome oneshots but my muse says maybe. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading!
> 
> \- ImmortalCoelacanth


End file.
